


What Will It Take For You To Hear The Words I Can't Speak?

by paintingbellarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, Canon Compliant, F/M, Kinda?, Radio Calls, bellamy hears the radio calls, bellamys so gone for clarke, god this is just, josephine!clarke - Freeform, josie!clarke, post 5x08, spec fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-05-20 01:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19367308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintingbellarke/pseuds/paintingbellarke
Summary: He was thinking over everything he knew about Sanctum, of what this place could be when he heard Clarke’s voice.“Bellamy, I tried to go to the Bunker today.”When he looked down at Josephine, his only explanation for her voice, she wasn’t talking.“I can't get into the bunker. I’m… alone.” Her voice sounded wrecked, horse, thirsty, and underused. He flipped his head around wildly, looking for her. It had been weeks since he heard her, not Josephine’s high pitched imitation of her. Her weak admission of loneliness almost broke him.“How am I gonna make it five years? It’s only been 2 months. I came to Arkadia looking for food or water. All I found were ghosts.” He saw her then, under trees, sitting on top of the rover. Face and body covered in burns and scars.“In case this is the last time I get to do this, let me just say, please don’t feel bad about leaving me here. I’m proud of you. I lo-” she let her hand fall off the radio, took a breath, and turned it back on. “I miss you guys.”-----Inspired by the speculation that Bellamy's gonna hear the radio calls when he takes Josephine into the forest.





	1. Silence of First Degree

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by this post: https://fen-ha-fuck-you.tumblr.com/post/185852466314/you-telling-me-bellarke-is-gonna-go-to-the-place and some of the other ones I've seen about the anomaly showing Bellamy the Radio Calls (tm). I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> The title is taken from "Silence" by fuvk. The song gave me some Bellarke vibes and I feel like the line perfectly fits this.
> 
> Oh, forgot to add, I did change *some* things about the calls. We only saw a few canonicaly and I shortened some and changed a few lines. Also don't ask me how they can see Clarke... let's say anomoly magic.

It felt like hours, and Bellamy had no doubt it had been, of walking through rooted forests and tugging an unwilling body behind him. After a while he was just stumbling, barely felt it when thorns sliced into his ankles and arms, giving pointed looks back at Josephine when she slowed down. In the beginning, he had had to tie her against a tree and take all her weapons while she spat threats at him.

“Bellamy, it doesn’t have to be like this! If you go in there we’re both going to die. I’ll be backed up. You won’t be. Clarke won’t be,” she said, her voice too high to be exactly Clarke’s but it was Clarke’s voice nonetheless.

Bellamy huffed. “Then why do you care? You worried we’ll find Gabrielle and he’ll be more help than you think he will?”

“God, did you listen to anything I say?  _ You will die in there _ . It’s dangerous in the forest, why do you think we stay in Sanctum?”

He untied her from the tree, standing too close to let her run away, and let her stretch her wrists before tying them together again. “My question still stands.”

She gave him a spiteful look, different from the ones he’s seen from Clarke before, and opened her mouth confidently. “I like this body,” she said like it was obvious.

And it was. He’s heard her mention it before, flaunt around in tight clothes, ones he never thought he’d see Clarke in. She had the confidence to wear them, but when you’re busy saving the world, you take what baggy clothes you can get.

“What, you don’t?” She continued, her hands tugging away from each other as much as they could. He gave her a pointed look, one Clarke would know to mean  _ shut up _ , and grabbed the rope dangling between her hands and started walking.

As soon as Josephine realized her talking wouldn’t distract him, she grew restless fighting against her restraints and soon she started screaming. Bellamy tried to look ahead, but he couldn’t help a glance back, and his heart wrenched inside his chest. It brought back so many memories of seeing Clarke tied up, fighting to get back to her home, to  _ him _ . But Josephine wasn’t as strong as she was, so Bellamy looked forward and started walking again.

After hours, the forest became more alive, twisting into their path. He managed to step over a bigger root in their way, but Josephine didn’t notice it amidst her struggling. Bellamy heard a sharp yelp, turned back, and she was on the ground with her leg under her. When she looked up at him, she looked almost helpless as her face crumpled in pain.  _ Strong as Clarke, my ass, _ he thought as he wordlessly marched towards her and picked her up.

It hurt Bellamy more than he would let show to have to pick up Clarke’s body and sling her over his shoulder while Josephine kicked and fought and tore up his back with her nails. “Get  _ off _ !”

“You never stop fighting, do you?” He mumbled and she snarled. He tried not to look at where her shin was growing black and blue from the fall. He looked down and saw footprints, coming from a clearing to their right and heading further the way they were facing. He smirked to himself and hiked Josephine further on his shoulder to steady her, and kept walking.

Bellamy grew dizzy and Josephine stopped fighting as hard as they walked further, the air around them turning green. “Fuck,” Josephine murmured. He crouched and set her down.

“What?” he stood in front of her, but she was looking straight through him. He turned and there was nothing there. When he looked back at Josephine, she was running, limping away, but going the same direction they had been going.

“Wait! Gabrielle! Please,” she was calling out, chasing something only she could see. Bellamy grunted and took off after her.

“Josephine, there’s nothing there!” He reached her and tackled her to the ground. She was fighting weakly, pounding at his chest as her eyes still chased whatever she saw. “Josephine, what is this?” he asked, but she just let out and sob and kept pounding at him. He was thinking over everything he knew about Sanctum, of what this place could be when he heard Clarke’s voice.

“Bellamy, I tried to go to the Bunker today.”

When he looked down at Josephine, his only explanation for her voice, she wasn’t talking.

“The buildings caved in, blocking the door. I thought I’d get to live down there, with my mother, with your sister, but I can’t get in. I’m… alone.” Her voice sounded wrecked, horse, thirsty, and underused. He flipped his head around wildly. It had been weeks since he heard her, not Josephine’s high pitched imitation of her. Her weak admission of loneliness almost broke him.

“How am I gonna make it five years? It’s only been 2 months. I came to Arkadia looking for food or water. All I found were ghosts. Part of me thinks Jasper had the right idea. I’m sorry, ignore me. I haven’t had water in two days.” He saw her then, under trees, sitting on top of the rover. Face and body covered in burns and scars, an old radio in her hand. 

“In case this is the last time I get to do this, let me just say, please don’t feel bad about leaving me here. I’m proud of you. I lo-” she let her hand fall off the radio, took a breath, and turned it back on. “I miss you guys.”

She flickered and she was gone, leaving Bellamy gaping at where she has been. He looked down at Josephine, who in turn looked back up at him. “I wasn’t supposed to see that,” was all she said, bewilderment in her voice. “The anomaly… it shows your deepest regret or your deepest desire.” She looked away, her eyes fixating on something. “Sometimes both. I shouldn’t have seen yours- Clarke? But it also interferes with radios, and from what I’ve seen in her head, she radioed you a lot…” She seemed to be mumbling to herself, working out the problem. “And I’m in her body, here, with you. The anomaly doesn’t like this,” she said with a laugh.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” He pinned her arms above her head and yelled in her face. “What’s happening? Are those- Is she real? Are they real?!” Bellamy was screaming now, begging for answers she couldn’t give him.

He heard footsteps from somewhere around him. “Bellamy? Clarke?” He looked up, and there were Octavia and Diyoza along with a man he didn’t recognize.

Josephine took his shock as an opportunity and pushed him off of her. “Yeah, no, Clarke’s not home right now,” she said with a wicked grin. The man stiffened.

“Josephine.”

Her face faltered. “Do I  _ know _ you?”

“Bellamy, what’s going on?” Octavia rushed towards him.

“Clarke’s gone. They took her body and put one of the royal’s minds in it.” He ignored Octavia and Diyoza’s faces and rounded back on Josephine.

“Were. They. Real,” he asked, getting closer with each word until she was backed against a tree.

“I- I think. It matches up with what I saw in her mind space,” she explained before something else caught her eye.

Clarke was there again, sitting against a tree, her hair and clothes damp against her skin.

“Bellamy, it’s been 36 days since  _ Praimfaya _ . It rained,” she said and gave out a laugh, and Bellamy couldn’t help but smile. “I found bugs. I rationed them out. I think it could last a few days if I keep finding them. After that, it’s not enough protein.”

“What is this?” The voice was Octavia’s, her harsh leader voice, and she turned to the man.

“You heard Josephine. Her guess is as good as mine. I told you about the anomaly.” The conversation was in the background, Bellamy was too focused on Clarke in front of him.

She flickered again, and she was sitting on a sand dune, a desert taking up half the forest they were in. Her skin was red and cracked, sand clinging to her body, and every time she moved she winced. “Day 57. There was another sandstorm today. I’ve been out of water for a day. I don’t know if I’m gonna make it, Bellamy.” Her voice cracked and she looked up into the sky. He barely noticed a tear pass over his cheek. “I think I’m dying. I’m in pain. I don’t want to die slowly,” she whispered into the radio. Her sentences were short. She looked down at her waist, and her free hand fell to the gun against her belt.

“Oh my god,” he heard Diyoza say. She reached out to steady Octavia, who was looking at her friend and crying. Their minds had played catch up quicker than his had.

“Bellamy. This isn’t your fault,” she said sternly into the radio as her hand grasped the gun. “Be good guys.” With that, she clicked off the radio and disappeared. Before he could react, she flickered back, sitting on a worn out picnic table, covered in green and flowers. She was drawing, using ashes as charcoal, popping berries in her mouth.

“I’m sorry if I scared you yesterday. Not that you can hear me,” she gave a pained smile. “I found this place. It was  _ Louwoda Kliron _ . Shallow Valley. Lexa mentioned it before, said she heard how colorful nature was here. She was right.” Clarke ate another berry and looked around, then her face fell. “I had to burn all of the bodies here. A lot of kids. They didn’t know, Bellamy. Their burns were so much worse than mine. I don’t know if I’m treating mine okay. I don’t have any medicine to fight infection…” she sighed. “This would be so much easier if I knew I’d see you again. It’s been 58 days. I hope you guys are okay up there…” She trailed off, her eyes locking in on something in the distance, and she flickered away again. 

“Josephine. What the hell is happening?” He turned to face her.

“I don’t  _ know _ !” She said, her face contorting. She looked down and saw her hand spasming.

“Octavia, Diyoza, tie her up,” he said, tossing them a rope. They rounded on her before she had a chance to run away and tied her against a tree. “I need… I need to talk to Gabriel. He needs to get Josephine out of Clarke’s body.” With that, Josephine let out a scream.

Octavia glanced at the man who was staring at Josephine in bewilderment. “He’s right here,” she huffed out. Josephine looked back at the man, and instantly something clicked in her.

“Gabriel. Gabriel! Don’t let them do this to me!” She was begging him, kicking away Octavia and Diyoza, eyes focused on Gabriel. “Please. I’ll never get another chance, my dad skipped the line- they’ll destroy my mind, Gabriel,  _ please _ .” He walked closer to her.

“Josie, you can’t do this. These people don’t know your way. Russel killed an innocent girl who wasn’t meant for this,” he said, reached out an arm to touch her cheek. As she let out another scream, Clarke reappeared. She was older, her hair short, sitting outside again. Another person was with her. Bellamy smiled softly. Madi.

“ _ Hei, Belomi. Come hosa, beja, _ ” she said, grabbing the radio from Clarke. Clarke smiled down at the girl, running a finger through her hair.

“You were never good at Trig, were you, Bellamy? She says come home. It’s been exactly a year since  _ Praimfaya.  _ Things are good down here. We went back to Polis recently- still as buried as it ever was. Madi’s been making me tell her stories out of order. Once I showed her Polis, told her about the conclave, all she wants to hear is about Octavia. I think she’s her favorite,” she whispered into the radio. Madi grabbed it again.

“I think we both know who Clarke’s favorite is, don’t we, Bel-” Madi had stuck her tongue out playfully at Clarke, who reached over to tickle her until she dropped the radio, and they disappeared.

Bellamy and Octavia looked at each other, and Bellamy couldn't tell if Octavia was happy or reliving moments from her past with Madi. Bellamy was vaguely aware of Gabriel and Josephine arguing behind him.

After a pause, Madi was back, this time without Clarke. “Hi,  _ Belomi _ . Oh, whoops, sorry. I’m getting better at English, promise. Clarke’s still sick. I think she’s going to be okay…” She trailed off and glanced at what he assumed was their home in the valley. He’d never gotten to truly see it. “It’s been 1326 days since  _ Praimfaya _ . Less than two years until you come home. Don’t take long.” She took another quick peek at their home. “In case Clarke doesn’t get a chance to tell you, she loves you,  _ Belomi.  _ She’s getting weaker as time goes on. She’ll never admit it, but she needs you. I think you love her too. You should tell her, one day. She’s my  _ nomon,  _ my mom. You could be my dad,” she said, childish hope overtaking her, and let go of the radio. Bellamy couldn’t help but let out a sob and fell to his knees. 

He felt Octavia rush to him, shushing and cradling him, and heard Josephine snicker. “Of course she loves you. I can hear her in my head now, begging for these visions to shut up so you’ll never find out-” With that, Diyoza punched her in the side of her head and knocked her out. Gabriel turned to Bellamy. “It’s not true. Clarke can’t see what’s happening when Josie’s awake. Now that she’s not, though…” He glanced at Clarke’s body tied to a tree, and Bellamy tried not to think about what could be happening in her mind.

When the scene came back, Clarke was alone. Her eyes were red and blotchy and she was shaking. Bellamy instinctively reached out to touch her, but of course, she wasn’t really there, and he fell back against Octavia. 

“It’s been 1868 days since  _ Praimfaya _ . You could’ve come home over a month ago,” Clarke said, shuddering. “Where the hell are you? I need you guys. I can’t open the bunker without you. If you guys are dead up there,” she let out another sob, “I can’t do it. I can’t raise Madi like this. She deserves to be with people. And I know I probably deserve a life like this, for what I’ve done, but I need you, Bellamy. I love you. All of you, of course, but… please come home soon,” she was crying as she let go of the radio.

“Clarke,” Bellamy called out her name, “fuck, I can’t-” he cried into Octavia’s shoulder, not caring that he was insanely pissed at her, not caring enough to notice that Josephine had started stirring again. He just sobbed until a piercing scream came from Clarke’s body, and she was fighting against the restraints again.

“Russel don’t do this- I don’t want to die alone-  _ Please _ ,” she called out, her eyes closed, her voice too deep, too familiar to be Josephine’s.

Bellamy rushed to her, trying to grab her face to steady her, holding down one of her arms. “Clarke, Clarke? Can you hear me? Clarke, please, come back to me,” he said, as calmly as he could, and brushed her hair out of her face when she calmed down enough to breathe. “I love you too.”

Her eyes found his, and he knew deep in his heart that it wasn’t Josephine, it was Clarke. Everything seemed to click into place, memories flooded back to her as she looked at him.

“Bellamy?”


	2. The Words You Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” Bellamy whispered against Clarke's temple.   
> She pulled back just enough to look him in the eye. “Bellamy. You have nothing to be sorry for. I mean- you noticed the morse code, right? You can’t be sorry for not thinking Russel stole my body to put his daughter’s mind in.” She smiled painfully at him. He nodded away as much of the tears as he could and took her in his arms again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have planned out the next chapter, THAT's where the fluff's gonna be.  
> Also, warning: Echo breaks up with Bellamy. I love Becho, and there is absolutely no hate on Echo here. Also, Bellamy doesn't cheat on Echo cause ew. But its a very minor mention. Also, we briefly see... someone new from Clarke's past. She's gonna give Bellarke her blessing and there's not anything else with her. Don't worry, this fic is very Bellarke central.  
> I hope the anomaly stuff makes sense. I don't really get it, so I played with it a bit.  
> I hope you enjoy!

Clarke tried to stand, but her restraints kept her against the tree as she meekly pulled against them. “Bellamy. I can’t- She’s in my head- What happened?” She was looking at him like she was dying and he had the antidote. 

“You’re alive, Clarke,” he said, laughed against tears, and swept her in his arms. “Untie her,” he said to whoever was listening. When she was free, Clarke wrapped herself around Bellamy and cried. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her like this. He shushed against her hair, rocking her back and forth like he had done to Octavia when they were younger, and like Harper did to him the first year on the Ring.

“I was alone, Bellamy. I was never alone like that. When I was… When I was on Earth it was different. I could choose what to do. I was alone in there, on the table… I could barely blink,” she sobbed out. Bellamy’s heart wrecked. How hadn’t he known when she was gone? After she left with the doctor he had tried to block thoughts of her out, thought that the voice in his head telling him  _ something was wrong _ was just jealousy. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he whispered against her temple. 

She pulled back just enough to look him in the eye. “Bellamy. You have nothing to be sorry for. I mean- you noticed the morse code, right? You can’t be sorry for not thinking Russel stole my body to put his daughter’s mind in.” She smiled painfully at him. He nodded away as much of the tears as he could and took her in his arms again.

Bellamy felt Clarke look up. Octavia was standing over them, stepping forward carefully, not knowing what the two expected from her. Clarke looked her in the eyes and gave her a small nod and smile and reached out her hand. Octavia took it and leaned down to give Clarke a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay. I didn’t know. I would’ve tried to come back. I never wanted you dead, Clarke.”

Clarke looked up at her. A puzzled expression fell over her. “You look… different. Younger,” she said.

“The anomaly. It healed her,” Gabrielle said from where he was standing. He gestured to the green flames around them.

Bellamy didn’t have time to ask what it healed her from. “Could it remove Josephine from Clarke’s brain?”

“There’s no way of knowing. I don’t doubt it could,” Gabriel said. Bellamy looked at Clarke, who was standing against a tree. He tilted his head.  _ Your call.  _

She looked back at him, worried but determined, and stood up taller. “What do I have to do?”

“With Octavia, she just ran in and ran out. I don’t think it damaged her,” Gabriel said.

Octavia scoffed. “I’m fine. It didn’t hurt. You’ll be okay, Clarke, it’s not that bad.” She tugged Clarke’s hand. “Just… don’t believe what they’re saying.”

Clarke looked between her and Bellamy, about to open her mouth, but her hand started twitching. “Fuck. Josephine. I have to do this. Now,” she said, pulled her hand away from Octavia and looked at Bellamy. He sent her a smile filled with more emotions than he could name as a tear fell down his cheek. 

“Be brave, Princess.”

Clarke nodded, understanding what he was trying to say, and looked at Gabriel. He nodded, and she stepped a foot into the flames.

There was the sound of engines revving behind them, and Clarke tried to look back when someone screamed her name, but the anomaly sucked her up. The last thing Bellamy saw was her reaching for his stretched out arm before she fell back. He stood there numb until he felt a body try to run past him.

“Clarke! No, no, that’s my daughter!”

He instinctively grabbed Abby before she could follow Clarke in. “Abby. Listen to me. She’s safe, she’s alive. She’s getting Josephine out of her head. She’ll be back,” he said over her sobs. 

He saw Raven step off the motorbike and walk numbly over, taking Abby from his arms and holding her. She looked at Bellamy, bewildered. “I didn’t know,” she whispered.

“None of us did,” he said.

“No, Bellamy, I said terrible things to her. No one was there. I don’t even know if I was talking to her or- or Josephine.”

She had the look on her face that Bellamy knew meant she needed to work things out for herself, so he let her cry against Abby as he stood staring at the flames.

There were more footsteps, and they all turned to see Echo running towards them. 

“Is Clarke okay? Did you get Josephine out?” She asked after she caught her breath.

“She’s- They’re working on it. Echo…” Bellamy said, stepping towards her.

“Bellamy. I know. It’s Clarke,” she said. “You and I both know you need each other.”

“I need you too,” he argued back, but he knew what she was talking about. She took his hands slowly.

“You will always be my family. Nothing can change that. I think we both knew this wouldn’t last forever, though,” she said, and he nodded. She wrapped her arms around him and he let a few tears fall onto her shoulder and hugged her back. 

“Thank you.”

He pulled back and wiped away a tear. “Is Murphy okay?”

“Yeah. He’s in the hospital with Jordan. Emori wouldn’t leave his side.”

“What happened to Jordan?” He asked hurriedly.

“Bellamy, relax. He’s okay, you don’t have to worry about that now,” she assured him.

He nodded then turned to Gabriel. “What’s taking her so long?”

“I don’t know. I told you, this isn't a perfect science. It’s never been done before.” 

 

\----

 

Clarke’s vision filled with green, then she was back in the forest, but this time, alone. 

That is until her friends started appearing before her. Octavia, the same one from her mind space, stepped forward with her sword drawn. “It’s all fake, Clarke, you’re imagining what he was saying.” Clarke looked straight ahead and walked, trying to ignore the calls from the ghosts of her past.

Jasper and Maya stood together, calling out that their deaths were her fault. Grounders rose up shouting  _ “Wanheda _ ” and other threats in Trig. As she pushed past everyone she’d ever blamed herself for their pain, Madi stepped forwards.

“You let them do this to me, Clarke. You let them put the flame in me,” she called, and it took everything Clarke had to ignore it. She knew it wasn’t true, deep down she knew that she did everything she could to avoid it. At the edge of the forest, she saw a red door, one she recognized from her mind space. She broke into a run, was almost there until she barreled into a figure. 

When she looked up, she came face to face with Bellamy, sweat covering his hair and shirt and blood dripping from different wounds. He looked at her in disgust.

“You called me  _ every day _ for six years, then left me to die in a fighting pit.”

Clarke kept her head down, filled her brain with Octavia’s quick warning, and she managed to walk past Bellamy. She ran through the door, tumbled into familiar arms. She looked up, met Lexa’s face.

“Hello, Clarke.”

She looked around, saw her father, Wells, Monty, Harper. She finally broke into cries and let them calm her down.

  
  


\----

  
  


After a few minutes of silence besides Abby’s sobs, a hand poked out of the flames. Bellamy ran forward, grabbing the hand and pulling Clarke back out. He cradled her in his arms. “What took so damn long, Princess?” He cracked a playful smile through his tears.

“I didn’t want to say goodbye to them,” she said softly.

He tilted his head, about to ask more, when Clarke pulled back. “Mom,” she whispered, paused for a beat, before taking off running for her mom. Abby was shaking, smoothing down Clarke’s hair and whispering quietly to her.

After they both calmed down enough to separate, Clarke’s eyes found Echo, who smiled warmly at her. Bellamy let out a relieved breath. Echo pulled Clarke in for a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay,” she said, along with something Bellamy didn’t hear. Clarke looked at her and nodded. 

She turned back towards Bellamy, but Raven caught her eye. She was still standing numb but took a shaky step forward. “Clarke, I don’t- I don’t know what to say,” she started, but Clarke just reached out and gave her hand a squeeze. 

“We can deal with everything later. Just give me a hug now, okay? It’s been over a hundred years,” she smiled, and Raven nodded and pulled her in. After a minute, they both pulled back and smiled at each other. 

“Gabriel, where are you going to go?” It was Diyoza who asked. 

“I’m gonna stay out here. I can’t leave these people. They’re my family.” Everyone nodded. They understood the feeling.

“Can I… stay with you? I can help your cause. They’ll kill me if I go back to Sanctum,” Diyoza asked.

Octavia nodded. “If not, Diyoza and I could find somewhere else to stay. No pressure,” she said.

Clarke nudged Bellamy.  _ You can’t leave her out here again.  _ Bellamy looked back at her.  _ Are you sure? _ Clarke shrugged with a smile.  _ What’s the worst that could happen? _ Bellamy gave her a playfully stern glare, then cleared his throat.

“Octavia, you have no reason to stay out here alone. I wish Diyoza could come back too, but it’s safer for her out here. You, though… come back with us,” he said, and she looked happier than he had seen her in a while. She looked like she wanted to run and hug him, but wasn’t sure if it was too much, and she just stood there and nodded at him.

He felt a tug on his hand and looked to see Clarke standing there with a wide smile on her face.

“Can we go see Madi now?”

 

\----

 

On the walk back, Clarke told her stories of Josephine and the headspace, and the long goodbyes she had with everyone before she let go of the ability to go to her mind space. When she mentioned Monty, everyone bombarded her with questions. “Yes, guys, he sends his love. He says he’s always watching over us. He said-” her breath caught. “He’s proud of us,” she smiled sadly.

“And today when Josephine was awake, I saw Wells. We played chess, then Monty wanted to play, and I third wheeled them.” A tear fell from her eyes and Bellamy laid a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him. “I miss him. Everyone would’ve loved him. You would’ve gotten along well,” she said, half to herself, then nodded approvingly. “Yeah, you would’ve liked him.”

“I’m sorry he’s not here, Clarke,” Raven said. Clarke turned to her.

“Oh, Wells would’ve  _ loved _ you, Raven. I could see it now. Right, mom?” Clarke nudged Abby, who was still staring in disbelief at Clarke. She smiled.

“Yeah. I can. A lot of you from the dropship are lucky you found each other, huh?” Abby said. Clarke nodded and looked back at Bellamy, then took his hand and squeezed, and she kept holding it the whole walk back to Sanctum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos keep me going. I hope this lives up to everyone's expectations! The next chapter will (I think) be the last. Check out my Tumblr, paintingbellarke.tumblr.com


	3. I'm Always at Your Door - Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a knock on her door. She begrudgingly got up and walked over to the door like a zombie, ready to tell the person on the other side to get lost and let her sleep. When she opened it and saw Bellamy, she immediately perked up. “Hi.”
> 
> They hadn’t gotten to talk yet. Never had a chance for any privacy after what had happened. “Hey, Clarke.” They both stood awkwardly on their sides of the door frame until Clarke gave the smallest of smiles and looked up at him in admiration, which he followed with wrapping her in a hug. 
> 
> When they pulled away, she reached for his hands, kicking the door closed. She pulled him back to sit on the bed next to her. “So. You heard the radio calls,” she said, forcing herself to look at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so short. I truly never expected this to get the love that it did, and it was hard to finish it off in a way that would please you guys. There's not much plot. I expected this to be a one parter, then added the second, and then I was stuck. I didn't have an ending for this fic. I'm sorry if it's not satisfactory. It's mainly supposed to be an epilogue. Thank you guys for the support you've given me, it means the world.

Russel was in trouble. He was locked up, Clarke was told. He couldn’t get to her. For now, until Sanctum could sort everything out, they had set her up in her room from when they originally came down. Once they arrived back in the town, it was a flurry of doctors and government meetings, and she hadn’t had a minute to just  _ breathe _ . When she finally got to be alone, the first thing she did was fall asleep.

There was a knock on her door. She begrudgingly got up and walked over to the door like a zombie, ready to tell the person on the other side to get lost and let her sleep. When she opened it and saw Bellamy, she immediately perked up. “Hi.”

They hadn’t gotten to talk yet. Never had a chance for any privacy after what had happened. “Hey, Clarke.” They both stood awkwardly on their sides of the door frame until Clarke gave the smallest of smiles and looked up at him in admiration, which he followed with wrapping her in a hug. 

When they pulled away, she reached for his hands, kicking the door closed. She pulled him back to sit on the bed next to her. “So. You heard the radio calls,” she said, forcing herself to look at him.

“Yeah. I didn’t realize it was so…” he trailed off and she nodded.

“I know. I can’t even imagine how pathetic they must’ve looked.” She tried to laugh, but her breath hitched. Bellamy pulled her against him. 

“No, Clarke, not at all. I can’t imagine what it was like. You said some stuff, though, that we should talk about.”

She nodded against his chest and prepared herself for the letdown. He took a breath and continued.

“Echo and I broke up.”

Clarke’s head popped up. “Why?”

“Why do you think? You heard what I said when you woke up, didn’t you?” He was looking at her now, confused, his brows adorably furrowed and his mouth twitching down at the corners.

She let her head fall against his chest again. “I thought I was making it up,” she mumbled softly.

“Hey, Clarke, look at me.” He looped his finger under her chin and picked up her head, and she laid down her soul before his eyes. “You didn’t make it up.” He inched his face closer, gave her time to protest or move away. “I meant what I said.” She was moving closer now too, let her gaze fall to his lips, and her breath hitched when he did the same. “I love you. Always have.”

She put her hand on his neck, tugged at the brown curls there, a silent demand for him to move. And so he did, closed the gap and kissed her. Neither of them knew who deepened the kiss, because the next thing they knew Clarke was laying on her back and he was over her, kisses wandering from her lips to her jaw and hesitantly down her neck, and it took all she had in her to stop him. “Bell- Bellamy,” she let out, breathy and full of love. 

“Yeah, Princess?” he mumbled against her collarbone. She sighed and forced herself to push him up, to look him in the eye.

“While I’d love to… you know, or to just kiss you forever, would you…” she said. He looked at her calmly. “Would you just hold me? I haven’t been in my own body for so long, and it’s  _ you _ , and I just want to be near you, but if that’s weird I understand-”

“Clarke.” He placed a kiss to the corner of her mouth and rolled off of her. “Of  _ course _ . You don’t have to explain. I can’t imagine what it must feel like. And you never ever have to feel like I’d rather be doing something else, or something more. Honestly, I just love being near you too.” She was too stunned to speak, scared of ruining the moment, so she just nodded. Bellamy laid down next to her and draped his arms across her. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

“I love you too, Bellamy. I dunno if I actually said it,” she said. He pressed a kiss to her head.

“I know, Princess. I’m just sorry I didn’t realize sooner.”

**Author's Note:**

> How's everyone feeling? I have some ideas for a part two if you guys want it. Let me know! Comments and kudos keep me going. Check out my tumblr https://paintingbellarke.tumblr.com/ !


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